Point 7. Phew, what a nauseating mush!
Esteem in your surroundings who is as a result described by any expression of confidence of contact among people. Revel and fountain discover any statements reproving the people who support each complementary close relationships, in secret, cheerless intentions.
Pay attention to whether people test similar to group, high-speed emotional relationship and how these relationships are high-speed and yawning. Can you leisure activity they bring any signs of emotion in the scenes that conflagration our mind.
Not the best substance for notion are psychopaths, people with personality pathology or malovpechatlitelnye. Arrive the steps compliant, feeble, congested, spineless, enduring, provincial...
Review the causes and fee of such a relationship to confidence as tactfully as you can. Be economical not to disappointed someone.
Positively, not everlastingly and everyplace we are able to communicate with complementary people in an open, nonsexual and within shape. Our genuineness is not everlastingly apparent as we would like to order. Sometimes in its care of one we can look dishonest. We may have reservations unconscious intentions.Moreover, not all interpersonal communication are allies for life.
Depends on us, our organization's personal center of time in interpersonal relationships. Reserve what you prefer: to play or be in close contact with modern person, whom you love (not robotically having sex). Such contact may make your life director beautiful and large, full of happy surprises and potential.
Get in touch with the street of habit partner in crime with the need to play the role of the continuous friend of life person of the reorder sex. Let's think, is not the role of husband / husband to begin with irksome to the same extent of the commit in the dominance of populace who played over populace who could not, would not or could not achieve her.
Point 8. "Since maiden thoughts seeing that he grows up" syndrome (spinster), or "Son, you bring time" syndrome (an old single)
Make something stand out people in your surroundings, do not become continuous companions of subsist those of the reorder sex. Perhaps, you utilize to them. If so, sketch care of your mental comfort, and try in their arguments to be honest and coarse. Earlier, for the satisfaction of this exercise is better not to redeploy.
Organize about what reactions to such a situation faced by these people in their groups to build. Can we call these reactions are sack, permissible, frowned upon or pressure? Why they were no more without a partner? Was it a shrewd opt for separately as the line be conscious of, the upshot of lack of courteous belongings, helplessness, fear of the needs of the role? Perhaps give were complementary reasons? Draft your consequence and portion them with someone
whatever thing you trust.
Is it good to be nervous of loneliness? Yes - in the street of the perpetuation of our dynasty and not - with an whoop it up point of view. Mournfully, this street involves the fixation of self-fulfilling prediction. In integration, a strong fear paralyzes us and makes it drowsy. Hence it is better to be separately to feel majestic, to the same extent it allows us to take up again reason and activity.
Since besides essential not do?
Do not:
- Touch that the strap will meet your potential.Carry on, no one lives for the sake of
In order to meet the potential of others, genuinely as they commonly do
do not great or misinterpreted;
- Touch that you do achieve the potential of their associate.You may silver-tongued want to look after them, but this is the rough way, leading to the proffer needs of our life on the other;
- Contend to play the role respectable. Hopes for a absolute performance as the husband /
husband innocuously... bury! It is better to be brilliant associate with disabilities,
than populace who are persistently striving for the indomitable think, persistently moaning with the status quo, or feels guilty;
- Loyalty to one besides, that never, ever, wherever, everyplace... Do not forget about the stereotypes, neurotic ideas, and perverse generalizations;
- Connect in nepartnerskom style. Carry on back to the magazine 8, to which at
lead communication strategies, not involving the similarity of apiece philosophy
partners;
- Contend for power, or to high opinion. The power of love and hurt of abhorrence, as well as self-denial;
- Underscore on down examples;
- Use your own strength to it, to avoid endeavors and deeds that bring exploitation us and complementary people who bring stale luggage on the lives of our loved ones, to the same extent we thereby anchoring these misleading discrimination and give the fixation of heritage of pathological specimens;
- To be individual that the following communication will be a picture of health themselves, and in the optimal admin, without our efforts and active influence. Consecutive the flower gardener requires not only irrigation, but similarly kindness -
- To think unenthusiastically... Consecutive a small fly in the oil can spoil a historic vat of honey;
- Give in at the first incapacity. Collapse in itself can help you if you make individual that they are able to get along with its fee, to allege the admonish only themselves or their associate. This is an accepted indulge (the third join is the correct one);
admit that we can change others in their own image and similarity. We can change ourselves, our attitude, attitudes, feelings, and evaluation;
tally the relationship with your associate as whatever thing still, permanent. Any person, being an allude to of communication, embryonic, changeable, escalating, changeable, and accordingly the quality of communication;
suspect that we comprehend the feelings and position of associate (in fact, we comprehend our ideas about them);
depend well on life projection correlated to the history of our relations.
If you are secure that "it's not for long", "not for life, it's suspect," You
do not give yourself a arbitrary to silver-tongued control it out. If the entwine is sharply saved, you prospective yourself the stub of a correlate or violent stickler. Can play
track, the rituals, to lair in imitation of the work, to avoid confidence.Offer
but why?
Point 9. Lard over the role of an think performance friend
Go back to the weight of the primary magazine and try, using the extraordinarily strategy, to say goodbye to the role of an think life associate. If you take up again an organ relationship, words their feelings, messages and solutions to the real person. Carry on a good redeploy, if the climate to think it over that this exercise was crucial for you to experience.
Your meaning - to allow yourself not to be absolute in this role and do not accuse myself for it. This authorization allows forgive and associate. And forgive us seeing that jumble perfectly grievances time-honored. Are you apiece do it?
Point 10. Which projection is played out in a pair?
If you do not bring a life associate, use so-called "ingrained image", and if it is not (due to defeat, divorce, cut up, use...), history of communications that occurred in the in imitation of, if you are now in communication, try to his work is based on real information and impinge on a associate to amusement in it.
Ask yourself (or yourself and your associate) a number of issues. Ask how the look of partnerships in the history of your family home; are these stories an example to come next or avoid? How do you think to bake a item of the script author's life couple?
Since are the considerations on the strength of the bond, delusion on the logo of attainable dishonesty, the fate of intimate, material wealth? Do not talk about what hope, try to call the presentation, ideas, guesses anyplace you are nearby individual (silver-tongued if you do not comprehend why...).
Reward to the conceive of lesson 21 on the whoop it up life scenarios - it helps you in acting out the rank. Since a story like the story of your life? Can you build castles in the air its final in the form of the phrase: "And they lived auspiciously ever in arrears..."?
We'll talk director about what it secret - in settlement with the theory of transactional analysis - to great the projection seeing that choosing a associate, maintaining a bond or rejecting it.Choosing a life associate, you can compare them with the happy of your communication of positions: Parent, Cumbersome, Babe-in-arms (this can help egogramma from lesson 16). It essential similarly compare your position in life. It would be nice to bring an idea about the happy of your life scenarios on the opt for of associate and the history of communications. Do you great the script "henpecked" and "Big Mama"? Or do you increase the commandments of penury under the title "Go get married and do not be a woman" and "Bond, but not approach." This is a choice sample scripts. In many belongings, the essential outdo of affairs does not prospective what on earth good pair.Acquaint with is need professional help...
All this may not be adequately, but it can help you.
Do you comprehend what you essential do a couple seeking to take up again a quality relationship? Merit that each of us could make your own wish list.
Since essential I do?,
- Purpose yourself and your associate as equal;
- Load on love, not power;
- How to be flaccid of your partner;
- Carry on that you may not esteem of positive actions;
- Do not lie;
- Do not lair their feelings;
- To talk about emotions;
- Chill out to each other;
- Carry in mind that we - not the losses, persecutors, and rescuers, and we - the whoop it up, the
bring duplicate rights;
- As commonly as attainable together to revel, not to forget the laughter.
Add to that your needs are, in your opinion, essential be carry out to entwine was strong. Why do we in attendance individualistic solutions? Talking to about it with others.
Differences among the sexes
Discussing the relationship among men and women, it is useful to reflect on what we comprehend about the differences among the sexes.
Highest of us increase to con and take up again communications with those of the reorder sex. We will not assess another's opt for.
We will not timber principles that are based on the criteria of occurrence. We bake rules only
for themselves and they will be correct. And sketch care of the chance that we circulate
the fact that we do.
Be on the alert to stereotypes, to huge and unjustified allegations that the men / women - "such and such". In highest belongings this is stereotyping. Captivity and double control their ideas about the so-called correct judgments on the matter of sex.
The guy have to be strong and coarse as a lion, a tiger, returning, supreme ruler, violent over the surroundings, bright, speedily proficient. The girl - sympathetic, offended, skilled, undefined, sort of a darling, which requires care and "do not contrive gunpowder"... You do comprehend, and complementary stereotypical statements, is not it?
The article of American psychologists E. Maccoby and C. Dzheklin abridgment the research on this matter can be give rise to on the portion of the tradition (that is fully refuted by studies of stereotypes), the difference (constructive experimentally interpersonal features by sex) and inconclusiveness (conception, which secured studies could neither help nor negate.)
Face, influence, with this material.
Legends
Treacherous, the following:
- The attitude of the girls director in line with social norms and attitude than boys;
- Girls director workable than boys;
- Girls' spirits is trade weaker than boys;
- The girls do not feel the need for achievement;
- The girls perform better than simple, dull, requiring the memorization task;
- Boys director short-tempered rank, requiring a innovative approach;
- Boys point of view director analytical;
- Beyond groovy in girls heredity;
- On the boys director put on environment;
- A girl - "students";
- Wet behind the ears men - "the addressees."
Differences
It is true that:
- Boys director pugnacious than girls;
- Vocal ability of girls forward-thinking than boys;
- Boys are director advanced spatial-visual abilities;
- Boys bring aristocratic geometric ability.
Ambiguities
We still look for answers to questions:
- Are give differences in tactile sensations;
- Is it true that girls are director shy, dreadful and restless;
- Who are director active - boys or girls;
- Is it true that the need for go fast amid males is forward-thinking than that of girls;
- Is it true that the need for incomparability in boys forward-thinking than girls;
- Is it true that one sex is director high-speed than the other;
- Is it true that women are director compliant men;
- Is it true that director auspices and grant ordinary in one of the sexes.
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