What, or who is the enemy within I hear you cry! I believe, that the enemy within is that small persistent, insidious voice that fills your head all day long with thoughts of self doubt; the one who tells you that you are not good enough, pretty enough, clever enough to succeed in your goals and aspirations. The enemy within, is 'that' inner voice, people listen to, which causes them to self sabotage themselves before they have even begun. Be it in their personal relationships, work environment or desire to self improve through further education or going for that job promotion at work. Excessive self-criticism tends to backfire, because it leads us to focus on our so-called failures instead of the small ways that we could have improved.
People rarely consider, that the reason that they are not moving forward and living the life of their dreams is because of something they are doing to 'themselves'. More often then not, people will blame this state of affairs on their personal circumstances, their past experiences or on to other people. I believe the key to turning this situation around, is through recognising the 'power' of negative 'self talk'. Ask yourself honestly, are all these things that you criticise yourself about, 'actually' true! It is one thing to suffer from low self esteem and lack of confidence. But it is something else entirely to pull apart and stamp into the ground metaphorically speaking, every aspect of your personality, abilities and self worth. And over the long term, studies show, negative self talk is associated with higher stress levels and even depression.
There can be many different reasons for this, it can be down to poor parenting, lack of love and nurturing at a young age when a child's sense of importance and self worth in the world is forming. It can be connected to negative life experiences; educational difficulties with no extra support; Though children today are monitored throughout their educational lives for any problems such as dyslexia. Years ago this was not the case, and many very bright children went through the education system, believing they were unteachable or stupied. It may also be, that an individual has simply gotten into the habit of putting themselves down, and has a very pessimistic view of life. There is no doubt that disappointment can knock self confidence. But it is important to try and keep a realistic and positive attitude towards this by understanding that many people suffer disappointment and rejection. It is only too easy to slip into that mindset of believing 'we' are the only ones it happens to. It is not a personal attack upon us all as individuals. It is more then likely down to the economic climate, the fact is there are only just so many jobs to go around. Competition is very high and it is not always about qualifications; employees often have a specific type of person they are looking for. Just because we don't fit that 'type' this time, doesn't mean to say, we will not 'next time'.
If you want to silence the enemy within, you must start to re think how you look at life. To transform a pessimistic mindset into a positive one, stop being so hard on yourself. Sit down and make a list of all your good and positive qualities. Are you a good friend; a good listener; someone who likes helping people. Don't 'think' about what you cannot do, start thinking about what you can do! If you are unhappy with your life. You don't like your job, or it stresses you out. Think about what kind of job you would like to do. Look at what your strengths are and with that in mind explore what other options are out there for you. If you are in a relationship, where your partner puts you down or belittles your abilities and ambitions. Don't assume that what they are saying to you is true. Often people who belittle others, do it because they feel bad about themselves. By putting you down, it make them feel superior, smarter, more attractive. It isn't true of course, but it makes them feel that it is. This is about them, their insecurities, not yours! Do not define yourself, based on the opinions of other people. You can test, challenge and change your self-talk. You can change some of the negative aspects of your thinking by challenging the irrational parts and replacing them with more reasonable thoughts. With practice, you can learn to notice your own negative self-talk as it happens, and consciously choose to think about the situation in a more realistic and helpful way. In time, it is possible to transform the enemy within, into a supportive friend!
Source: gamma-male.blogspot.com
0 comments:
Post a Comment