1 Eat Pray Love Elizabeth Gilbert

This book strictly speaking is not a self help book, but read it and I dare you not to feel differently or want to make some changes in your life. Since its publication it has swept the cocktails bars and makeup counters of the world, Oprah loves it, it has a huge following of women and men of all backgrounds, to put it quite simply it has become the Manolo Blahniks of books.

The book, was borne out of a decision, by the author, to take a year out, after a very acrimonious divorce and heartbreaking love affair. The plan was to spend three months in each of her chosen destinations, Italy where she learned how eat; she ate with wild abandonment, anything and everything and at anytime of the day or night. India, where she learned how to Pray, how to quiet, her mind and listen to her inner voice and Indonesia, where she learned how to love, and I will let you read the book to find out the end to that story.

The reason why I love this book and why I would and have recommended it to many of my friends, in fact I purchased many as stocking fillers this year, is not only because the author writes with such honesty and incredible humor; there a many laugh out loud moments in this book; but normally, an autobiographical book of this nature is because someone has suffered a life of abuse and degradation, but this is about a normal situation. Whilst it is devastating, and heartbreaking at the time it is happening, you feel as if your world is falling apart and that you will never feel normal again and that you are alone, but it is something, in some form or another, we have all been through and will probably go through again.

It is about normal, you can fit yourself in Elizabeth's world and because you can see and feel through her pain, you can also see and feel yourself through her recovery and self discovery.

A quote from the book that really struck me, was at a point where during her stay in Rome, she was doing really well but then she had a bit of wobble and she was sat on her apartment floor trying to talk herself through it. She recalled a time when she got into a elevator, in New York, as she turned to face the front she thought she saw someone she knew and was about to step forward and say hello when she realized it was a mirror and that person she recognized was herself, in her hour of need on her bathroom floor she wrote, "just remember at one time you recognized yourself as a friend". This resonated with me, woman can be the most special friends to others but rarely to themselves.

The other thing, I love about this book, is through her self discovery, she suffers the same problems as everyone else. I rejoice in the fact that she struggles to meditate, because I really did believe that I was the only person who could not quiet their mind, and I was surrounded by all these other people who could sit crossed legged, shush their thoughts and reach Nivarna, but as a result of reading Elizabeth's fight to reach her inner self she has given me renewed motivation to reach mine and not to give up after two minutes because my mind keeps reminding me I forgot to put the dishwasher on and I still have not picked up that bit of fluff from the floor that I have been looking at for days.

This book is a must for anyone who is on a journey of self discovery, and even if you are not and you want a good read with many laughs and few tears then this is the book.

I have given you some links to the book, and to please my friends in the UK who always feel left out, the US Amazon option is on the left hand side of this blog and UK option is below.

USClick on the links on the left hand side of the page.

UK

ENJOY

0 Seattle

This past weekend my boyfriend and I went to Seattle to visit my son and his girl. Even though it rained the entire time it was a fabulous trip! My son is so happy and his girlfriend and her family are gracious, warm and friendly. They love my kiddo and it shows in how they talk to him and in the way they treat him. It is so nice to know that my son is surrounded by people who love him.

While we were there we did the touristy stuff, we visited the Space Needle, Pike's market (above), and the Experience Music Project (below).

Experience Music Project

I also hit as many thrift stores as I could. I make spell bottles out of antique salt and pepper shakers and I found a wonderful set of 6 crystal shakers at Goodwill while in Seattle.

I can't wait to get to work on those. By the end of March the spell bottles I make with those babies will start to show up in my ETSY shop Beneath the Witch's Moon, opening on March 1st - only a few items will be available on opening day due to my travels but I am working on quite a bit more and should have a very nice selection of gifts and supplies by the end of March.

I am heading out to see my daughter in Orlando tomorrow. What a busy month this has been! I can't believe that March will be here in a matter of days!

Have a lovely week

Autumnwind

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0 Baby Boomer Dating Where To Find Mr Right

If you are a Baby Boomer and wanting to find love then the only thing that will stop you today is your mind. You can meet a fellow Boomer now easier than ever. If you are wanting to start dating again and aren't really sure where to look, then here are some great starters for you.?

CHURCH.

If you are a church goer then I suggest asking your local parish if there are any single nights available. If they aren't available at your church then you may find that there are many singles events held throughout the wide range of religious faiths. Asking around will lead you to one that is suitable for you?

ONLINE.

Certainly, this method has seen a rise in popularity over the past few years. I think online dating has come from being something quite seedy and embarrassing to now being a very well accepted platform for mingling with other and meeting potential partners. No longer are you "stuck" sorting through the masses of members online trying to find someone in your age group or area. You can now join Baby Boomer singles websites that will already have filtered the best matches for you and the qualities in a person that you want. The more descriptive you are in your profile and matches then the better able you will be to meet people that suit you specifically.

UNISEX INTEREST GROUPS.

If you can list all the hobbies and activities that you enjoy partaking in or watching then I am almost certain you will be able to find a group that you can do it with. Find a hobby that you love, join the group and already you know you have something in common with anyone that takes your fancy within the group. It doesn't have to be singles only, joining groups that are open to marital status is just as effective as people know people...you may be introduced to a brother,friend, cousin, neighbor.

Make sure you keep your mind open to new possibilities. You are a Baby Boomer and therefore are well aware that Mr. Right isn't going to suddenly pull over out the front of your house and march up to the door. You will have to seek him out. Once you do, then there are some great tips and strategies to make sure that he is captivated by you and wants to spend more time with you. If you want to know how you can achieve this then check out my links below.

0 Paul Gauguin Self Publicist Twister Of Truth

Is this an extreme case of twisting the truth to present an unreal situation? And for what purpose?

"Paul Gauguin exhibition reveals artist as self-publicist and truth manipulator"

Tate Modern to shed new light on sensual and sensationalist painter in UK's first major Paul Gauguin exhibition in 50 years

by

Charlotte Higgins

April 19th, 2010

guardian.co.uk

He was a fabulist and shameless manipulator of the truth as well as a canny self-publicist, the sort of self-conscious user of shock tactics we might associate with a modern generation of artists.

That is the Paul Gauguin who will be revealed to visitors to Tate Modern this autumn, as the museum mounts the first major exhibition devoted to him in the UK for 50 years. A third of the more than 100 works in the show will be seen in London for the first time when the exhibition opens in September.

His most famous works are, of course, his sensual, prelapsarian visions of Tahiti. The curators will show how his Tahiti paintings weave their own kind of mythology, sometimes rather sensationally referring to "primitive" Oceanian manners and morals that were, by the 1890s, distant memories or indeed simply fantasy.

For instance, his beautiful semi-naked young women proffering platters of fruit were, argue the curators, largely a product of Gauguin's imagination. By the 1890s, Tahiti, a French colony, had been comprehensively worked over by missionaries.

"They were wearing smocks and going to church on Sundays," says Belinda Thomson, curator of the exhibition. She called his relationships with his Tahitian models-mistresses "fairly exploitative". They were not, she says "equal relationships, nor could you call them properly professional relationships".

In Parahi te Marae (1892), a landscape in which a glowering idol looms over a yellow field circled with elaborate fencing (its form gleaned not from observation on the ground, but rather from looking at objects in Parisian museums), Gauguin hints at cannibalistic ritual - a feature of Tahiti's very distant past. "He is reinventing the scene, playing on his audience's prejudices," says Thomson.

In his book about Tahiti, Noa Noa, Gauguin claimed to have been told ancient myths and legends about the island's past by his Tahitian lover, Teha'amana. In fact he read them in the 1837 book Voyages aux Iles du Grand Oc'ean, by JA Moerenhout.

In his fascination with the "primitive" Gauguin was nothing out of the ordinary in 19th-century Europe. But in his employment of shock tactics - his deliberate sensationalising of Tahitian life - says Thomson, "he was ahead of the game".

If the Tahitian pictures are among his most recognisable works, the exhibition, Gauguin: Maker of Myth, will also examine his output beyond this colourful period in his artistic life.

Four paintings made in the late 1880s in Brittany will be brought together for the first time. These works - Yellow Christ, Green Christ, Self-portrait as Christ in the Garden of Olives and Vision of the Sermon - see the painter, in an earlier period, already in the business of drawing on myth, fable and a large dose of his own prejudices about the Breton people to create works with an intriguing narrative content.

In his La Perte de Pucelage - or "loss of virginity" - he layered motifs, allusions and symbols to hint at a kind of narrative. A woman lies in the foreground, naked, with a fox. In the background is seen a Breton wedding procession. "On the one hand it is a kind of Breton version of Manet's famous painting Olympia," says Thomson. "On the other there is a layering of symbolism and elements of Breton folklore, with the fox as the malign seducer."

According to Thomson, "he played up certain aspects of Breton life: a superstitious intensity of faith, for instance". Co-curator Christine Riding says: "He paints them in a decorative and childlike way. You certainly don't get a sense of the harshness of Breton life." Yellow Christ, for instance, shows Jesus crucified in a Brittany landscape; beneath the cross kneel three praying women dressed in traditional Breton headdresses.

Gauguin was also an adept self-mythologiser: the Self-portrait as Christ in the Garden of Olives sees him paint himself as if Jesus before the crucifixion: isolated, betrayed. According to Thomson, "it is the ultimate bombastic or overblown statement of the artist as creator". Riding says: "He was an arch-manipulator of his own artistic identity and wove elaborate myths around himself."

Gauguin had been a stockbroker and what Riding called "a Sunday painter" before taking up art full-time after an economic downturn in the early 1880s, as a result of the collapse of a French bank. He was largely self-taught, using the art he had collected when a stockbroker, including Pissarros and C'ezannes, as a study aid.

Paul Gauguin [Wikipedia]

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0 Meeting Mr Not So Bad

There are some women who define themselves by their relationship--so they always have one. There are some women who just happen to be dealt really good cards in life and find their partner early. They marry. Have children. And ride into retirement sunsetville together. And then there are the rest of you, who have picked apart piece by piece every male suitor you ever had and so now you don't have any or you are currently involved in one of "those" relationships.

I'm here to tell you, that you are not a teenager anymore. At least you shouldn't be reading my column:) You will always have the luxury of having standards, but you will not always have the luxury of having a myriad of men that will fit that criteria. So you have two choices. Either you are forced to make it work with the man who fits the criteria to a tee. If you find him. If he's available. If he even wants to be bothered with you. Or you try things out with Mr. Not-So-Bad.

Mr. Not-So-Bad isn't who you envisioned you would be with for the long haul. He isn't drop dead gorgeous or filthy rich. But he has great character and he treats with you respect. He is well groomed and quite stylish. He has a respectable job and gets to work on time. He loves sports, hates picnics, but doesn't mind a candlelit dinner now and then. He might have a child from a previous marriage or relationship - but you know what - he pays his child support and he sees the kid every other weekend. He isn't a big telephone person but lights up when he sees you in person. All and all - he's really not that bad after all. In fact, he's a catch. And with the right attitude on your part - you just might see all the potential that a relationship between the two of you could seriously have.

If you have a Mr. Not-So Bad in your life - call him tonight. If you don't - think about some of the men in your life. Co-workers. Friends of friends. The guy on the train. Or at the post office. Is he right under your nose and you just don't know it?

-GirlShrink

Do you need to talk? Or do you need advice? A fresh perspective?

You can get what you need at www.Girlshrink.com 24 hours a day. Advice and counseling that you can really apply to your life.

Or to subscribe to the self-help GirlShrink newsletter "Better Choices",

please go to:The Free GirlShrink Newsletter

0 3 Online Dating Tips To Find Your Perfect Woman

Trying to find a woman if you're a busy guy can be a difficult challenge. If you work long hours and don't have a chance to get out much, then many of the normal dating avenues are not readily available.

That is why online dating has become an incredible resource for many busy guys.

But the one problem with online dating is there are too many choices. It seems like every day there are a number of new online dating sites. As a result, it's important to know what you're doing when using an online dating resource.

Online dating is not a scientific process. Instead of following a specific formula, you have to keep trying different things till you find something that works for you. Once you find a service and type of profile which brings a lot of successful dates, you know your actions are working.

In order to help you get started with online dating, here are three easy steps to follow:

Your first step is to choose the right dating service which will help you find the right kind of woman. No matter what type of woman you're looking for, you can find her on an online dating service.

The best part of online dating is there are websites which fulfill all sorts of tastes and interests. For instance, there are sites professionals, religion, ethnic dating services, age and sexual preference. By going to a site which caters to your specific interest, you can easily find that special woman.

When you find the right online dating service, it's important to create an interesting profile. Now when you have an online profile, you should make sure to include a great picture of yourself. Since pictures are the first thing a woman sees, you need to take the time to select one which shows you in the best light. You might want to have a professional picture taken of you.

In addition to having a quality picture, you have to create a profile which is interesting and also demonstrates a humorous nature. You can increase your chance of success by crafting an online dating profile which demonstrates a unique profile.

Your final step is to start making connections with women who find interesting. All you have to do is send them introductory emails and find out if there might be a connection.

My advice is to be yourself and not worry too much about making a good impression. Just remember to be polite but also work at getting to know each woman.

If you follow these three tips, you'll discover it's pretty easy to find interesting women from an online dating service.

This article discusses the three steps to locate interesting women using an online dating service

0 Avoid Marriage Separation Because Of A Controlling Spouse

by Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.

"brought to you by Women Love"

Have you ever been miffed because your partner does things differently than you do?Do you get upset if she or he has different opinions and consequently makes different choices than you would? If so, you have encountered some of your own personal control issues and hot buttons in your marriage. Control dynamics cause marital problems in thousands of relationships and is a leading contributor to marriage separation.

If you want to minimize the risk of an unhappy marriage, here are three important points to consider:

1. FEAR IS AT THE ROOT OF CONTROL ISSUES.CONTROL ISSUES provoke many a marriage crisis. The emotions you experience at those times can be very strong and may include intense anger at the other person. Most people feel more secure when others around them share their beliefs, opinions, and choices. Your fears and safety needs contribute to your wanting others to be just like you. The old adage, "There's safety in numbers," refers to this instinctive fear of standing alone.

Also, many people feel in control more when others meet their expectations and when they can predict the behavior of others. Then they don't have to experience the discomfort of changing, growing, or stretching themselves. Instead, they can pretend that their world is logical, predictable, orderly, and safe.

2. THINKING YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE JUST LIKE YOU HURTS YOUR MARRIAGE.Your control issues can also be triggered by viewing your spouse as an extension of yourself. This perception may result in trying to dictate which clothes your partner wears, who she is friends with, how she wears her hair, what political views she holds, and what she can or cannot do. While your mate may initially make some changes trying to keep the peace, you are in fact creating a parent-child dynamic in your relationship that will eventually foster resentment and rebellion. This is a direct path to marriage problems.

3. USING NAME CALLING AND INSULTS ARE ATTEMPTS TO REGAIN CONTROL.While nothing sinister is usually involved in control issues in relationships, pathological behavior can be triggered in some cases. For example, a spouse who is angry that the spouse did not follow his directions could become emotionally and physically abusive. The partner might think he has the right to "punish" the other person. Marriage counselors report that derogatory put-downs and name calling, such as "What a stupid thing to do," are frequently used to re-establish control over the other person.

It's easy to point a finger at your mate and to say that he or she needs to change. It's much harder to face your own unresolved issues face-to-face and take responsibility for how you need to change. But avoiding change instead of nurturing your relationship can be a sure path to relationship crisis,marriage counseling and marital separation.

As you become more aware of control issues in your relationship, the starting place for change is always with yourself and your response to what is happening in your marriage.

* * * * *

"Copyright (c) Nancy Wasson. All rights reserved. Nancy Wasson is co-author of KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR SPOUSE SAYS I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly "KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE INTERNET MAGAZINE" to get ideas and support for dealing with marriage separation.

"-brought to you by Women Love-"

0 Should I Try To Save My Marriage Save My Marriage

SHOULD I TRY TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE

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0 Girlie Scientist Role Models Could Do More Harm Than Good

The lack of women in science, maths and engineering (STEM) careers continues to raise concerns. One cause of the anomaly is thought to be beliefs among schoolchildren that these subjects are somehow inherently "masculine" and not for girls.

So what's needed to inspire schoolgirls, you might think, is sciencey female role models who show that you can be successful in STEM subjects and at the same time be feminine. Some attempts have already been made in that direction - the toy company Mattel brought out a "Computer Engineer Barbie" (complete with pink laptop) and mathematician Danica McKellar (pictured, right) has written a book aimed at inspiring girls: "Math Doesn't Suck: How To Survive Middle School Math Without Losing Your Mind Or Breaking A Nail". (UPDATE: And the EU have just launched a new initiative "Science: it's a girl thing").

The trouble, according to a pair of new studies by Diana Betz and Denise Sekaquaptewa at the University of Michigan, is that girlie science role models can backfire, actually putting off girls who have little existing interest in science and maths subjects.

The first study involved 144 girls (average age 11.5 years) reading about female undergrad role models in a magazine-style interview. Some of the girls read about three female students who were successful in STEM subjects and were also overtly "girlie" (e.g. they wore make up and pink clothes, and liked reading fashion magazines). For schoolgirls who said they had little interest in science subjects, reading about these kind of role models actually diminished their plans to study maths in the future, reduced their maths interest, and lowered their belief in their own abilities and their chances of short-term success (as compared with outcomes for their like-minded peers who read about three successful STEM role-models who weren't overtly girlie - for example, they wore dark-coloured clothes).

Betz and Sekaquaptewa think this ironic effect could be because girlie female scientists seem extra-difficult to emulate. To test this, 42 more schoolgirls (average age 11.4 years) read interviews with more role models. Afterwards, girls who were uninterested in science subjects rated the success of girlie female scientists as less attainable than the success of female scientists who weren't overtly girlie. Girls not interested in science also tended to say that being good at maths and being girlie don't go together.

What does all this mean? Although there's plenty of evidence that stereotype-busting role models can be beneficial, these new results suggest that role models that take on too many stereotypic beliefs at once can actually backfire. "Young girls may see [the success of such role models] as particularly difficult to emulate," the researchers said, "given their rigid stereotypes about gender and scientists."

This research focused on girls at middle-school and it's important to note that the same findings may not apply to older teens or college students. No doubt some readers will also smart at the way femininity or girlieness was conceived in this study, potentially perpetuating unhelpful gender stereotypes. For now, Betz and Sekaquaptewa cautioned: "Submitting STEM role models to Pygmalion-style feminine makeovers may do more harm than good."

"Betz, D., and Sekaquaptewa, D. (2012). My Fair Physicist? Feminine Math and Science Role Models Demotivate Young Girls. Social Psychological and Personality Science DOI: 10.1177/1948550612440735

Post written by Christian Jarrett for the BPS Research Digest.

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