TODAY'S FUNNY PICS
TODAY'S FUNNY SIGNMore Funny Signs
TODAY'S NEWSPAPER FAIL
More Funny Newspaper Headlines
PIC OF THE DAY:
More Funny Pictures
TODAY'S CUTE SHOT #1:
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TODAY'S CUTE SHOT #2:
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FUNNY ENGLISH
TODAY'S TEXTING ABBREVIATION QUIZ:
WHAT DOES "OTL" MEAN?Out to lunchWHAT DOES "PMFJI" MEAN?Pardon me for jumping inWHAT DOES "QFI" MEAN?Quoted for idiocy
More Texting Abbreviations
TODAY'S RIDDLE:
Round as a Button:Round as a button,
Deep as a well.
If you want me to talk,
You must first pull my tail.What am I?A bell.
More Riddles
DID THEY SAY IT?
~ Did GEORGE W. BUSH actually say "That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental--supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel." Yes.
~ Did GEORGE W. BUSH actually say "You don't hear Laura talk about running for President. She knows where she belongs and is really invaluable standing behind me, showing me the way." No.
TODAY'S INNOCENTENGLISH CLASSICS:
Funny Student Science Mistakes:~ "Liter: A nest of young puppies."~ "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."~ "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."Comments
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FUNNY JOKES, QUOTES AND LINES
TODAY'S FUNNY SAYINGS
~ War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
~ No matter where you go - You're always there! And you're never there, because you're always here!
TODAY'S STUPID QUESTIONS:
~ If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
~ What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
TODAY'S STAND UP COMEDY QUOTE:
~ Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He started telling his story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though. -- "JACK HANDY"
~ The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept. -- "GEORGE CARLIN"
TODAY'S PICK UP LINES: (USE AT YOUR OWN RISK!)
~ I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
~ Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you.
TODAY'S PUNS:
~ Dentists practice by going through many drills.
~ Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
TODAY'S FUNNY SOUTHERN EXPRESSIONS:
~ He's about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt.
~ busier than a three peckered billygoat at a sheep breeding contest.
TODAY'S JOKES
~ A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies. The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid Oklahoma hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said "This duck ain't from Oklahoma. This is a Kansas duck. You got a Kansas huntin' license, boy?"
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kansas hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Kansas duck. This duck's from Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?"
The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Arkansas hunting license.
The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said This ain't no Arkansas duck. This here duck's from South Carolina. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?"
Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly "Just where the hell are you from?"
The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said "How's about if you tell me."
~ A woman's husband comes home hammered every night, and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.
One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a back rub.
"It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don't we go upstairs to bed?"
"We might as well," slurs the husband. "I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."Comments
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TODAY'S WORD GAMES
TODAY'S CROSSWORD, SUKOKU AND HANGMAN:
Today's Crossword Puzzle
Today's Sudoku Puzzle
Today's Hangman and other wordgames
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Reference: art-of-kisses.blogspot.com
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