The first and most important step in these instances is to relax... or at least try to. Then check out the tips below for a little guidance when you need to say:
"YOU COULD REALLY USE A BREATH MINT."
Bad breath can be a nightmare, especially when your date is digging you and closing in on your personal space. If this were a close friend or a serious significant other, you might want to be more direct in dealing with a halitosis issue. When it's your first encounter, however, feel free to be subtle. Bust out those breath mints (I trust you've come prepared), take one, and then offer one to your date. If you've both been eating or drinking, this provides a great opportunity for you to focus on your own "self-consciousness," while subtly reminding your date she might want to be a little self-conscious, too. Just say something along the lines of, "Blech, I'm starting to get coffee breath. You want one?" Chances are, she'll take one. Even if she's not aware of her bad breath, she will be aware of how un-minty her breath is come goodnight kiss time. The fact that you're "planning ahead" will probably inspire her to do the same.
"THIS CONVERSATION IS MAKING ME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE."
Sometimes the best-meaning dates can still offend. He may not know that he's harping on a touchy issue, and you don't want to seem hyper-sensitive, but you really can't take another second of his speeches on the subject. Don't sweat it. The most graceful way to handle this situation is to make a request simply but firmly, gently but with confidence. Something like, "I'm a little uncomfortable discussing this, especially on a first date. Could we change the subject?" It's always good to have a few genius conversation starters stashed in the back corners of your brain for occasions such as this. That way you can avoid the awkward silence with a new wave of discussion that will keep both your minds off of the rough patch in your date.
"YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT WITH ALL THESE FUTURE PLANS."
Is your date already trying to book a cruise when your relationship hasn't even lasted through the appetizers yet? It's great to meet someone who's in to you, but the planning is getting a little overwhelming. So make a joke about it. First dates create a lot of nerves, so sometimes perfectly sane people can get over-excited and launch into future-talk way too soon. If you treat the situation lightly and tease her a little (a gentle, "Woah, slow down! One date at a time!" oughtta do it), you might release her nerves through laughter and bring her back to the date that matters... the one that's happening now.
"I'M NOT READY FOR SEX IN THIS RELATIONSHIP."
There are many schools of thought on when, how, or if sex should be discussed in a developing relationship. So let's just say this: you can choose your own timing, but if you're serious about boundaries, it's in your best interest to draw your lines by the time things start getting hot and heavy. The most graceful way to broach the subject is to just say it. There's no need for attitude or apology. Just be confident in your decision and smile while you say it. "Just so we're on the same page, I think I should mention that I don't do it on the first date." Or "I'm not ready to have sex just yet" or "I'm waiting for this, that, and the other" or whatever your situation may be. As I mentioned above, the timing is up to you... though I wouldn't recommend opening the date with that or spurting it out over coffee.
In many of these cases, it will be your attitude that makes your delivery graceful. When you communicate your needs and opinions with confidence and a relaxed tone, you help put your date at ease as well. After all, if you're not sweating over the awkward moment, why should they?
Source: mark-rayan-pua.blogspot.com
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