0 Women In Politics

Check out my latest post at Elephant Journal - it's a riff on a review of Naomi Cahn's and June Carbone's new book, "Red Families v. Blue Families: Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture", from Oxford University Press.

MORAL TRADITIONALISM FAILS TO PREVENT EARLY CHILDBIRTH AND DIVORCE

By William Harryman on May 10, 2010

A very interesting and illuminating article at "National Journal Magazine" reveals a heavy difference between "red states" and "blue states" in both divorce rate and teen parenting rates - and not in favor of those states that vote Republican and (this is huge generalization, of course) promote traditional family values. Here is the beginning of the article:

DO 'FAMILY VALUES' WEAKEN FAMILIES?

If You Want To Find Stable Two-parent Families, Bypass Palin Country And Go To Pelosi Territory.

"by Jonathan Rauch"

"Saturday, May 1, 2010"

Can it be? One of the oddest paradoxes of modern cultural politics may at last be resolved.

The paradox is this: Cultural conservatives revel in condemning the loose moral values and louche lifestyles of "San Francisco liberals." But if you want to find two-parent families with stable marriages and coddled kids, your best bet is to bypass Sarah Palin country and go to Nancy Pelosi territory: the liberal, bicoastal, predominantly Democratic places that cultural conservatives love to hate.

The country's lowest divorce rate belongs to none other than Massachusetts, the original home of same-sex marriage. Palinites might wish that Massachusetts's enviable marital stability were an anomaly, but it is not. The pattern is robust. States that voted for the Democratic presidential candidate in both 2004 and 2008 boast lower average rates of divorce and teenage childbirth than do states that voted for the Republican in both elections. (That is using family data for 2006 and 2007, the latest available.)

Six of the seven states with the lowest divorce rates in 2007, and all seven with the lowest teen birthrates in 2006, voted blue in both elections. Six of the seven states with the highest divorce rates in 2007, and five of the seven with the highest teen birthrates, voted red. It's as if family strictures undermine family structures.

Naomi Cahn and June Carbone - family law professors at George Washington University and the University of Missouri (Kansas City), respectively - suggest that the apparent paradox is no paradox at all. Rather, it is the natural consequence of a cultural divide that has opened wide over the past few decades and shows no sign of closing. To define the divide in a sentence: "In red America, families form adults; in blue America, adults form families."

Cahn and Carbone's important new book, "Red Families v. Blue Families: Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture", from Oxford University Press, is too rich with nuance to be encompassed in a short space.

The rest of the article is very interesting and definitely worth your time in reading it - the book also sounds good.

However, I want to look at one key sentence from the quote above:

"In red America, families form adults; in blue America, adults form families."Check it out.

Tags: morality, ethics, Politics, Religion, culture, society, Elephant Journal, Moral Traditionalism, Fails to Prevent Early Childbirth, Divorce, red states, blue states, fundamentalism, Jonathan Rauch, Naomi Cahn, June Carbone, Red Families v. Blue Families, Legal Polarization and the Creation of Culture, books

0 Beginner First Date Mistakes That You Should Avoid At All Costs

"Avoid the first date mistakes to get a second date"

You've managed to get a date with a girl that you really want to impress. We got together a survey of over a hundred women to find out what flies and what doesn't on dates. We found out that there are some things do with the best intentions that chicks just don't like. Before you start making plans you should check out these four mistakes and steer clear.

SPENDING TOO MUCH

A lot of times a guy wants to really wow his first date. So he makes plans to take her to a super expensive place to eat and then to enjoy a pricy entertainment item. It makes sense at first; put your best foot forward and all. But the problem is that your best foot isn't really the 'real' foot. You're setting her up for unrealistic expectations and setting yourself up for credit card debt if this keeps up. Also, she may not be a fancy club sort of girl. It's best to keep it to something nice but within your means as a first date.

DOING TOO MUCH

Taking a girl to lunch, zip lining, ice skating, dinner, and then a concert is just exhausting. Loading you date up with too many activities is going to overwhelm her. Also, if you plan too many events to take place during your date you take the focus off the date. Taking a girl on any one of those things is great, but try to keep it to just one with lunch or dinner. You want to learn about the woman you're going out with, after all. Also, if you load your first date up, what are you going to do on your next one?

NOT TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF

Women get uncomfortable with one sided conversation. They want to talk, but they want to listen too. Make sure that if there are silences in the conversation that you cut in with something about yourself. You don't have to tell a girl all the details of your life, but admitting that you loved the Pirates of Dark Water when you were a kid isn't that. If you don't talk to a girl through the whole date then she's going to think that you're not into her. That means she's not very likely to become a repeat date.

MISSING NON-VERBAL CUES

"Don't miss out on the non verbal clues"

Men are really bad at reading women's body language. If we'd pay more attention we'd understand things better. When a woman refuses to make eye contact she's feeling slightly intimidated. If she crosses her arms and turns so her shoulder is facing you, you are making her uncomfortable. Women also slouch and make themselves seem smaller when they aren't feeling secure. If you catch your date doing any of these things, back off. Change the conversation or say 'I'm sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?'. If you ask that, don't blame her for her discomfort. Instead, try to not do it again.

There is a good middle ground for first dates that is somewhere between overload and nothing at all. That space is not too difficult to find as long as you approach dating pragmatically. Remember that the first date is a getting to know you event. Don't feel like you have to pull out all of your tricks. Save something for next time.

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