0 Building Trust

LEADERSHIP SKILL #1: BUILD TRUST WITH ANYONE

BY STEVE TAPPIN

So why make trust our leadership skill #1? Well, you can't work with anyone without trust.

In particular the more senior you get, the more important it is to build trust, as people get less direct access to you.

Narayana Murthy, Founder and Chairman of Infosys, believes that "one of the most important attributes of a leader is trust. Trust means people will give their lives for you because people see that 'if it is good for him it is good for me'."

At first people think trust is about honesty and integrity but actually whether you trust someone is context-specific (trust someone to look after your kids?) and is based on an intuitive sense about another person which at first pass seems different for every person.

But working around the world with my team at Xinfu with CEOs and their top teams we have developed a trust formula which we first piloted in low-trust environments like China and parts of Africa. The good news it can help you work out the trust issues with anyone else and holds true across people from different cultures across the world.

I appreciate at this stage you might not trust me as it sounds too good to be true? So if OK with you, suggest the best way to bring it to life for you is to apply it.

TRUST EXERCISE 1

TRUST EXERCISE 2

The answers which are most important to you are likely to be the most important to you in how you build trust with people in general. This is helpful as you then become aware of what are your hot buttons. It also gives you a context in which to communicate perceived breaches of trust with others.

XINFU TRUST FORMULA

Everyone relies on one or more of the four following elements to determine trust. The higher the level of trust in each element, the higher the level of trust overall.

It is also important to know whether you are instinctively a "trust giver" or a" trust builder". Trust givers are typically in the minority in most cultures. Their start point is instinctively to trust people from the start, yet then trust can be lost through breaches by the other person. Trust builders don't initially trust and need to see evidence over time before they can trust someone. It is more difficult for trust builders to create trusting relationships, especially when they come across another trust builder. In this scenario, both of the trust builders are waiting for the other one to demonstrate to then that they are trustworthy!

You now know what factors really matter to you in getting to trust someone and whether you tend to be a trust giver or a trust builder. The trust formula is also really helpful in helping you to make a quick and decisive determination that on this occasion you're not in fact going to be able to trust someone, and to take appropriate steps to end or transition the relationship.

TWO WAYS THAT REALLY ACCELERATE TRUST IN MOST SITUATIONS

1. BE A GREAT LISTENER

If you can actively listen and demonstrate this by playing back not only the words but the meaning behind them, it massively accelerates trust and connection. The other person feels heard and understood, and in a state where they will feel more open to share with you.

2. SHARE YOUR LIFE STORY

You share a bit of your life story with them including the ups and downs. It helps people understand and connect with you and also subconsciously gives them a lot of information about your motives, execution and style.

HOMEWORK

BUILDING TRUST INTO YOUR LEADERSHIP ARSENAL

Being seen as trustworthy is one of the key building blocks towards becoming a great leader. If you fail in this regard, you risk being seen as a hypocrite or inauthentic. Sir John Parker, Chairman of Anglo American was an example of a highly regarded and trusted leader: "Good leaders walk the talk," he says, "They're consistent in their behaviour. They live out the words. I can think of no higher risk to a leader's credibility than not living out the words."

In truth, trust is the soft platform on which you build great teams who can high perform. As they feel able to delegate more, innovate as they can bolder risks together.

If you want to become a great leader, the start point is trust. In time, you can then draw upon this trust platform to build belief and ultimately inspire people around you.

The personal joy is that in time, deep trusting working relationships turn into bonds of true friendship bonds. This means you will be there for each other when you need it most, and also be able to celebrate the good times together too.



Credit: gamma-male.blogspot.com